Current mood:	peaceful
Current music:	If everything is just the way it should be, Why am I, why am I still hungry?
Entry tags:	series:gordian knot

[Gordian Knot] Be Like Water
Title: Gordian Knot: Be Like Water
Author: Icka! M. Chif
Word Count: 3,859
Rating: Teen
Audio Track: Sarah Fimm - 'Be Like Water'.
Author Notes: Conan is extremely hard for us to write. And then, after months of trying to get him to talk, he didn't do much. Think this is the shortest GK chapter yet. o_O 2 chapters to go! Thanks to Wren for the beta!
Summary: Follows ‘Taste of Flames’. It's the Kaitou Kid's return, and no one told Conan.

---

Don’t chase ghosts, Don’t get too close,
Don’t get caught, Don’t get spent
Don’t get bought
Don’t sell out, Don’t get bent
Don’t fuck your Best Friend
If everything is just the way it should be,
Why am I, why am I still hungry?
Be like Water – Sarah Fimm

’The darkest of night of the longest day,
I shall steal the stone of the beheaded sun swallower.
Golden wings shall carry the phantom away
Whilst the wolves hunt the SPIRITS of the night
-Kaitou Kid <3’

The words of the heist notice ran through his head as Conan raced along the rooftop, his heart thudding in his ears. He wondered if he was too late, the Kaitou Kid had released the notice late the night of the 20th, and the solstice was the 21st. He hadn’t heard the news until he’d gotten home from school, having to race from Beika to Osaka to try get to the heist on time.

The first two lines of the riddle were easy. 'The darkest of night of the longest day’ was midnight of the Summer Solstice, which was tonight. The twelfth annual Osaka Mineral, Fossil, and Gem Show currently had a collection of Hessonite, a honey coloured gem which was known to be symbolic of Rahu, the immortal head of a serpent in Hindu mythology. Rahu swallowed the sun or the moon, causing an eclipse. The sun or the moon then passed through his severed neck, illuminating the world again.

Knowing the Kaitou Kid, the thief was after the largest piece in the collection. Although why he appeared in –Osaka- of all places was a mystery. Conan could think of a half dozen more likely targets in the Tokyo area alone.

It made him wonder, especially considering the confusing last two lines of the riddle. This was Kid the Phantom Thief’s first appearance since he’d been shot last autumn. Rumour had it that the Kid was dead, but he hadn’t been able to believe that. The Kid was too tricky of a bastard, too troublesome to die.

He dismissed the thought as he screeched to a halt at the rooftop’s edge, overlooking the mass of screaming people and blinding lights below. The wind from one of the many helicopters around buffeted him and he braced himself as he looked for the white-clad thief’s appearance. He hadn’t seen this many people and helicopters before without Sonoko’s Uncle Jiroki somehow being involved. Nakamori-keibu and the Task Force were certainly going all out for this tonight.

Conan spotted some movement on the rooftop across the street, narrowing his eyes as he spotted the Kid for the first time. Kid was little more than a white blur in a patch of dark shadows. Then the Kaitou Kid stepped out onto the ledge of the tall building, throwing his arms wide as he practically glowed in the spotlights, the golden stone in his hand catching the light. The crowd below went wild, the roar of approval almost like a physical blow.

Why did he do this? The question roared through his mind as he gritted his teeth. The thief had more than enough skill to do this in secret, to pull impossible thefts, yet he insisted in doing so in the spotlight, ridiculing them, mocking law enforcement for their efforts, forever dancing out of reach.

The thief was out of reach of his stun watch, but he could probably hit him with a soccer ball. Make the Kid’s reappearance his last.

The sound of a gun cocking caught his attention, so faint he wasn’t sure if he’d even heard it correctly. He turned, scanning the area, catching the silhouette of a gun barrel sticking out of the shadows from the corner of the rooftop he was on.

The world condensed as he saw a glint of blond hair, a woman’s face leaning over the long barrel of a sniper rifle. A sniper rifle that was aimed at the illuminated Kaitou Kid.

He barely had time to bring his arm up, either to arm the wrist dart watch or the belt soccer ball, he didn’t know, when the trigger was pulled.

*pft*

Conan nearly fell over, a dizzying wave of… something overwhelming him. Guilt, sadness, despair. Ran’s crying face. Her brave smile, wavering on the edges. His lies, lies, lies, piled up one on top of each other like an unbreakable wall surrounding him, too high, he was in too deep to get out. Tears and lies and remorse. Hollow and empty.

It stopped almost as suddenly as it started. He uncurled, heart in his throat as looking over the edge, wondering if he'd pitch over. He looked around, expecting to see the Kid crumpled on the rooftop in a spray of red blood.

Instead, he found a glimmering metallic sphere shape where the Kid had been standing. It shifted, resolving itself into two sets of very large wings. Metallic wings, gold, copper and teal. One set arching up over the Kid’s head, the other wrapped around him in a protective shield, sharp edges glinting like razor sharp knives.

And embraced in the middle was Kid, looking calm and almost smug. Winged and untouchable.



”Ladies and Gentlemen!” The Kaitou Kid announced as he raised his hands, his voice strangely amplified although it almost sounded like he was talking casually. “Let us shed some light into the darkness!”

He snapped his fingers, and there was a blinding flash of light and heat as a spotlight beamed down upon the rooftop, clearly illuminating the female sniper from a helicopter above. Conan squinted his eyes to see the best he could, seeing her scramble to her feet. He brought up the dart watch and fired, uncertain if he’d hit her or not until she stumbled and went down.

Conan backed away as he realised the roof was shaking slightly, not all of it from the force of the helicopter above. The door burst open, officers in bullet proof vests and armour. He backed up, curling up and hiding in the shadows of the rooftop as far away from the fallen sniper as possible.

In the distance, he could see four more rooftops lit up, shadows moving around the spotlights. Snipers. Five snipers total. Whomever was trying to take out he Kid wasn’t wasting time.

”A parting gift, for the cute hunting wolves.” Kid said with a grin that was unmistakable even from this distance. Conan glared at him as the Kid leapt into the air, the metallic wings flapping with the screech of metal on metal. Bastard.

The Kid flew past him, something transparent fluttering after him, like the tendrils of a jellyfish. Conan shuddered, that sick, remorseful feeling creeping down his spine again.

Conan ground his teeth together, jaw tensing as he watched him go, hoping that for once no one spotted him.

+++

’Golden wings shall carry the phantom away, whilst the wolves hunt the SPIRITS of the night’ Conan mused to himself as he walked down the dark still crowded streets. The last two lines of the notice hadn’t been meant for the robbery, that much was obvious, but as a warning toward the mysterious organisation in black. Bait, and they had taken it.

Was that the reason to have his welcome back heist in Osaka? To plant a trap? The police and the Kaitou Kid Task Force must have to have been on it as well, it was almost a little too coordinated. But the idea of the Kaitou Kid voluntarily working with the Osaka police and the Task Force was almost laughable. For one thing, he was a wanted criminal.

Although he was rather worried that he hadn’t heard anything about this set up, or any rumours about the mysterious organisation currently after the Kaitou Kid. He’d heard that the Kid had been shot, of course, but there hadn’t been much in the newspaper about who had done it.

”-Surprised there wasn’t more a Judeo–Christian theme to the notice.” A familiar voice caught his attention.

”Oh?”

”Something about the whole ‘Rising from the Dead’ issue-“

”Kid’s a ZOMBIE?” A kansai accent interrupted.

The first voice continued on, ignoring the interruption. “-and ‘Golden Wings’ could also be a reference to Saint Michael the Archangel, the Patron Saint of Warriors and Police Officers.”

”There’s one problem with that theory, Hakuba.” A teasing voice made the hair on the back of Conan’s head twitch slightly. “Do you know who the Patron Saint of Thieves is?”

Conan froze as he spotted Hattori, Kuroba and Hakuba walking down the street, close enough that they were bumping against each other every few steps. Kuroba was grinning like a cat who had just won first place in a canary eating competition. Hattori was staring at him like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop while Hakuba looked unruffled and pleased.

Kuroba’s grin spread. “Santa Claus.”

Hakuba started snickering, while Hattori did a double take. “Yer kiddin’.” When Kuroba smugly shook his head, Hattori draped an overly friendly arm over Kuroba’s neck and pulled him down so Kuroba’s head was leaning against Heiji’s chest, causing him to stumble a few steps. “Alright.” Hattori said cheerfully, resting the knuckles of his free hand against Kuroba’s hair. “Now cough up the rest.”

”What makes you think- Ow! Hey!” Hattori ground his knuckles against Kuroba’s scalp, causing the magician to flail. “Okay! Okay! Saint Nicholas is the Patron Saint of Reformed Thieves! Reformed!”

”Much better.” Hattori purred, pulling his hand free but not releasing his grip on Kuroba’s neck. “Hakuba? Anythin’ ta add?”

”Nope.” Hakuba, Conan belatedly realised, had stepped back to walk behind the other two. He’d thought it was so that Hakuba could walk without getting hit by any waving limb, but in fact the blond detective was quite clearly checking out Kuroba’s ass. “Carry on.”

Conan sputtered.

This was a mistake as he found himself the focus of three intense gazes. “Oh.” Hattori casually released Kuroba. “Hey, Kudo.”

”Hattori-niichan.” Conan nodded back. “Hakuba-niisan. Kuroba-niichan.”

Hattori, Hakuba and Kuroba glanced at each other, exchanging looks. “Well.” Hattori said with a shrug. “Y’might as well come along. You can stay at my place tonight.”

.... He hadn’t even thought about where he was going to spend the night. “Thank you.” He half-mumbled, stepping alongside Hattori. Kuroba gave him a half-smile and dropped back so he was walking alongside Hakuba, keeping the blond and Kudo as far away as possible and still be walking as a group.

They walked in silence for a while, Hattori looking peaceful and casual, Kuroba and Hakuba having a private and apparently silent conversation, consisting of tilts of the head, eye movements and hand gestures.

”I didn’t see you chasing the Kid.” Conan said quietly, turning his attention to his Osaka friend.

Hattori smiled, wolf-like. “I was chasing bigger game.”

Conan’s stomach lurched. The men in black. He glanced backwards at Kuroba, who was laughing silently at something Hakuba had not-said. “You didn’t tell me the Kid was back.” He said quietly, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice.

Hattori shrugged. “Ya never called me.”

”Huh?” Conan nearly stumbled. What did Hattori…

He never called Hattori. Hattori had always the one to call –him-. And Hattori hadn’t called him up to chat since Conan interrupted Hattori’s date with Kuroba back in February, four months prior.

A wave of guilt ate at him and he followed Hattori without a word to Hattori’s house in Osaka suburbs of Neyagawa-shi.

+++
+++

He stayed in the background as much as he was able once they reached the Hattori household. Hattori’s mother didn’t seem that surprised to have another person join them; she just included him in the offer of tea and pastries when she greeted them at the door. Hattori’s father was going to be busy tonight, dealing with the fallout of the men that they had caught, and ensuring that they met justice –alive-.

Hattori and Kuroba excused themselves to set out the spare futons, as Kuroba knew where they were from previous experience, leaving Conan alone with Hakuba. They stared at each other awkwardly for a few minutes, before Hakuba excused himself. Conan breathed a sigh of relief as the blond left the room, feeling as if a weight lifting from the room. He fiddled with the nearly full tea cup infront of him for several minutes before placing all their cups on the tray and standing up as well.

He owed Hattori big time. He’d messed things up, and the knowledge didn’t settle well in his stomach.

Worse yet, he didn’t know how to apologise for being a douchebag to someone who was theoretically his best friend.

Conan stepped out onto the wrap-around porch and paused, realising that he wasn’t alone. Hakuba and Kuroba were sitting on one of the steps, leading into the garden, talking quietly between themselves, heads turned towards each other in a semblance of companionable intimacy. Occasionally they’d look out and admire the garden, pointing something or another out to each other, then their attention would be drawn back to one another.

It looked like they were flirting with each other.

”Hakuba hasn’t asked him yet.” Hattori’s voice behind Conan made him jump. “But Kaito’s already said yes.”

Conan looked up, finding Hattori leaning against the other doorframe, watching the other two teenagers with an unguardedly fond look on his face.

”I thought you were dating Kuroba.” Conan said quietly. He would have thought the short tempered Osaka native would take offence to Hakuba moving in Hattori’s territory.

”Broke up a few months ago.” Hattori shrugged casually in return. ”We were datin’ each other ta help each other through some rough spots. We’re still good friends.” There was a slight inflection in Hattori’s tone that said that he would have told Conan if he’d ever bothered to contact Hattori. Conan winced.

He didn’t really have a problem with Hattori dating a –guy-. But the whole idea that Hattori was dating a guy who –looked just like him-. Like Shin’ichi.

When he was Shin’ichi, he’d learned how to handle fangirls and the occasional fanboy. He loved Ran, and was that.

But Hattori… Hattori really was his closest friend. The closest thing he had to a best friend. The idea that Hattori liked him as more than a friend… It felt almost like a betrayal. Like Hattori had betrayed him by liking him more than the parameters set in Conan’s mind.

Yet he was the one who betrayed Hattori. He was the one to intrude on what was supposed to be a private date. Prior to that, he was the one who never bothered to call, to reach out and make an effort to continue their friendship.

In retrospect, it was obvious that Hattori’s behaviour had always been more like someone trying to catch their intended's attention, than as a regular friend would act. He could see the difference now, between before Hattori started dating Kuroba and afterwards. He wasn’t the focus of Hattori’s attention anymore. Selfishly, he found he missed it.

”I’m sorry I ruined your date.” He said softly, glancing up at Hattori. “I shouldn’t have done that.” He didn’t know what was worse, the fact that he had ruined Valentine’s Day for his friend, or the knowledge that had come from it.

Hattori shrugged. “It worked out.” He said blandly. Hattori had learned beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was no chance for the two of them to be more than friends, gotten over it, and had moved on with his life. He seemed happier now, more laid back, if that was possible.

What was that Hattori had said? About being in limbo, not knowing one way or the other, hurts?

If that not knowing had this sort of effect on Hattori, what was it doing to Ran? He closed his eyes, feeling his gut make a funny lurch, or possibly his heart. How often had she cried because of him? Put up a happy front when ‘Shin’ichi’ called, only to sob later? That hollow look of hers when she was thinking of him, knowing that –he wasn’t there-?

Hattori pushed himself away from the door frame. “I don’t know about y’all, but I’m beat.” He said, drawing Kuroba and Hakuba’s attention, as well as Conan’s.

”Oyasumi, sweetie.” Kuroba said, tilting his head back to grin unrepentantly up at Hattori as the dark-skinned teenager walked toward them.

Hattori leaned down and kissed Kuroba's forehead. ”Oyasumi yourself, darling.” Hattori drawled back, as he straightened, making Kuroba laugh. To Conan's surprise, Hakuba didn't respond to this, just watched the scene placidly. He would have expected the blond to protest the casual intimate behaviour, not just sit there and accept it.

Hattori surprised him further by companionably patting Hakuba on the shoulder as he continued past. “Oyasumi, Hakuba.”

”Oyasumi, Hattori.” Hakuba said with a small smile and a tilt of his head. “See you in the morning.”

”Okan’s makin’ takoyaki fer yer trip back.” Hattori waved. “Just follow yer nose to the kitchen when ya wake up.”

"Now that sounds like something to wake up for." Kaito stretched, his spine curving in a near impossible arc, much to Hakuba's obvious enjoyment. He flipped up to his feet, offering a hand to the blond. "Shall we?"

Hakuba stared at him blankly for a minute, then smiled gently, accepting the hand up. They somehow managed to 'forget' to release each other's hands as they followed Hattori inside.

Conan made his way to the step that Kuroba and Hakuba had been sitting, finding the wood warm beneath him as he stared up at the stars, his thoughts a chaotic mess.

+++
+++

It was later than he cared to guess by the time he finally made his way to the guest bedroom, finding the other three teenagers sprawled out on futons on the floor, snoring softly. Hattori slept closest to the door, spooned behind Kuroba. Kuroba didn’t appear to have a problem with this, one arm stretched out and holding on to Hakuba’s hand, who was on the far side of the mass of bedding. The magician lifted his head as Conan shut the door behind him, a sliver of an eye peering at him before his head dropped back down, falling back asleep.

Conan lay down on the edge of the futons, grabbing a blanket and pulling it over himself. After a moment, he remembered to take his glasses off, folding them next to his head. He closed his eyes and evened out his breathing, trying to focus on going to sleep through the waves of guilt eating at him.

The sensation of someone staring at him jolted him out of a partial doze and he opened his eyes a slit to glance around.

Nothing.

He rolled over and closed his eyes again. Sleep. He needed to sleep.

… Was that a hiss?

Conan opened his eyes, glancing around. He was pretty sure he’d just heard a snake.

Nothing.

He frowned and closed his eyes again. Why would there be a snake in the room? It made no sense.

-And there was another hiss. He tensed, opening his eyes a little bit, peering through the eyelashes at the slumbering forms of Hattori and Kuroba.

Tendrils, as transparent as smoke were draped over their sleeping bodies, pinpricks of light that might have been eyes staring at him. He swallowed and stared back. A forked tongue flickered out at him, but the serpents didn’t venture any farther than they were, draped protectively over the sleepers.

Conan swallowed. He was hallucinating. Had to be.

The bogeyman wasn’t real. The bogeyman didn’t exist.

He shuddered and closed his eyes tight, pulling the blankets closer around him.

Sleep was elusive, but when he finally succumbed to it, the stare of serpent eyes followed him there.

+++
+++

Conan was up and awake before Hattori’s Okan was, leaving a note behind as he caught the subway to the Shin-Osaka station to catch the Shinkansen back to Beika. He watched the sun rise, the world turning from shadows and shades of dark to sharp bright colours and a frantic buzz of activity.

He observed it all in a distant sort of haze, still trying to sort everything out from last night. He probably shouldn’t have left Hattori’s like that, but he couldn’t deal with Hattori right now, much less Hakuba or Kuroba. He didn’t know what to say to Hattori, not now, not after so much silence.

And then there was Ran. Ran, who was waiting for him, still waiting for him. Ran, who unlike Hattori, hadn’t given up on him and moved on with her life.

What was he keeping silent for anyway? Agasa had warned him that if the mysterious organisation heard the was still alive, they’d take down everyone around him. But then, if that happened, it wouldn’t matter if they knew or not, did it?

Ran would still be dead, waiting for him. While he was right there, hurting as much as she was.

She would hate him, must hate him, for keeping silent so long. He’d hurt her worse than he had Hattori. And while he didn’t know what to do to make things right with Hattori again, --Hattori hadn’t accepted his apology, just said that everything ‘worked out’-- he could at least come clean to Ran.

With this decision in mind, he wearily stumbled home, back to his real home, to the Kudo residence. He didn’t bother trying to struggle his way up the stairs, just walked into the library and collapsed into one of the comfortable padded chairs there.

+++
+++

When he woke up again, it was to the sound of someone moving around the house. He sat up, looking around with some alarm. The musical hum of someone singing softly relaxed him, and he stretched, rubbing his eyes a bit. The sun had fallen down, the angle of sunlight streaming into the window nudging it closer to sunset than sunrise. He’d slept most of the day.

”You’re awake.” Ran wandered into the room, dressed in her school uniform, a small smile on her face. He stared at her, soaking up her presence like an orchid did water.

”Ran.” He whispered as she moved towards the desk that dominated one end of the room.

”I was worried about you.” She scolded as she turned around and leaned on it. “You just up and disappeared. Agasa-hakase called and said that you had slept over at his house. Are you feeling okay?”

He nodded, staring at her. “Yeah.” He said dumbly. Then he gave himself a good mental shake. He needed to talk to her, not just gawk at her like some sort of love-smitten schoolboy. “Ran.” He said, firmer this time.

”Ah!” She held up an admonishing finger, her eyes sparkling with teasing. “It’s ‘Ran-Neechan’!” She corrected.

”No.” He shook his head, reaching up and pulling his glasses off. Best to do this now, quickly, before he lost his nerve again.

She lost the playful air, head tilting to the side as she looked at him. “Conan-kun?” She questioned, confused.

”I’m not.” He said, staring at her, his sharp blue gaze locking on to hers, his heart in his throat, despite the levelness of his voice. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for ages, Ran.”

”I am Kudo Shin’ichi.”

-end-


Conan's arc to be concluded next chapter.