Current mood:	silly
Entry tags:	transformers

[Transformers: Animated] The Energon Stalks at Midnight
Title: The Energon Stalks at Midnight
Author: Icka! M. Chif
Word Count: 6,265
Rating: Teen
Author Note: Needed some crack. Then the thought came that Prowl as a Vampire would be pretty funny. Then it warped.
Disclaimer: No recongisable characters belong to me, used without permission for no profit.
Summary: “Is it just me… Or is there something going on with Prowl?”.

---

“Is it just me…” Bumblebee mused as he and Bulkhead played video games on the Autobot’s concrete sofa late at night. “Or is there something going on with Prowl?”

Bulkhead made a thoughtful sound as he carefully manoeuvred his car on screen around the other racing cars. There was just something kind of weird, but refreshing about playing racing games. Less problems if you hit other cars. Or buildings. Didn’t have to worry about squishy pedestrians either. ”Whaddya mean?”

”Well, we’ve been seein’ a lot less of him lately.” Bumblebee ticked the points off as his car pulled ahead into the lead on screen. “He’s gone all day, then comes back in the middle of the night, all covered in scratches like he’s been fightin’ something.”

”I haven’t heard anything about any new Decepticon activity.” Bulkhead frowned, partly because of the conversation, partly because of his car scraping along the side of the virtual racetrack.

”Which brings up the question of who he’s fighting.” Bumblebee nodded, his face a mask of determination. “And he’s hungry lately too. Eatin’ practically his own weight every day. Remember when you offered him those rust sticks?”

”Inhaled them.” Bulkhead remembered. “The entire carton full.” Which was strange, because Prowl usually only took one or two, like he was taking them just to be polite and not hurt anyone’s feelings.

”Strange, huh?” Bumblebee smirked pointedly, increasing his lead on screen. “Very… Un Prowl-like.”

Bulkhead made a thoughtful rumbling sound. “Maybe he had a fight with Jazz?” He offered.

”Jazz?” Bumblebee echoed.

”Well, if my memory serves correctly, Prowl started acting strange just after Jazz started his visit.” Bulkhead said reasonably. “So maybe he’s trying to avoid Jazz.”

”Huh.” Bumblebee ran this idea through his processor, diverting some of his attention off the game. “You’re right. We haven’t seen much of Jazz lately either.”

”But then that’s not really unusual either.” Bulkhead pushed his car ahead. He didn’t have a chance at overtaking Bumblebee’s car, but he could at least place at a reasonable rank. “Whenever he’s on Earth, we don’t expect to see a lot of Jazz cause he’s usually out exploring the planet. Or looking for Decepticon activity.”

Bumblebee snorted. It was a fairly open secret among the Earth bound Autobots that Jazz was enamoured with the planet and took any excuse to explore it’s organic life, despite whatever feelings Sentinel Prime may have had for non-Cybertronian lifeforms.

”-Or perhaps he didn’t want to waste his time hanging around good for nothing louts who have nothing better to do with their time than talk about bots behind their back.” Ratchet’s cranky voice interjected, making both of them jump.

”r-Ratchet!” Bumblebee exclaimed, his finger sliding on the controls, causing his car on screen to swerve, careen into a wall and explode. The other cars, including Bulkhead’s, zoomed passed him. A chequered flag and fireworks went off on screen, Bulkhead finishing fourth. Bumblebee lowered his head, sulking. “Aw, man…”

Ratchet snorted, clearly unimpressed and managing to express that he felt that Bumblebee got what he deserved without have to voice a single word.

Before Bumblebee could start to get angry, a fourth voice spoke up. “Manners and common courtesy aside, Bumblebee does make a point.” Optimus Prime drawing their attention as he made his presence known. “Prowl has been acting strangely for the past week or so. Strangely even for him. He usually keeps me better informed of his activities.”

It had been a long uphill battle for Optimus to gain both Prowl’s trust and respect enough for him to report to Optimus about what he was doing and what he observed instead of just running off by himself. Optimus liked to think that it worked out better for both of them this way. Optimus was better informed, having an ear to the ground, and Prowl had backup, should he wish or require it.

But then Optimus was also known for being an optimist.

Optimus gazed as his crew, briefly locking optics with each of them to get a read off of them, trying to gauge just how concerned they should be. “Any ideas, gentlebots?”

Ratchet grunted. “Whatever injuries he has are light, mostly scratches. Nothing he’s needed my services for.” Unspoken was that Ratchet was keeping an eye on the ninjabot, should his services be required.

”But he’s also good at hiding the extent of his injuries.” Optimus mused. To the point of only seeking aid when he had no other choice. Which meant that it wasn’t quite to that point. Ratchet grunted, acknowledging the fact. “Any medical reasons you can think for the change in diet?” Optimus inquired.

Ratchet shrugged, making a clanking sound. ”If he’s expending more energy then usual, he’ll need to keep his energon levels up.” He mused. “But the amount he’s been consuming -is- highly irregular. He’s been inhaling enough for two mechs. Literally.”

”Maybe he’s pregnant?” Bulkhead suggested, thoughtfully rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Both Ratchet and Optimus looked pained as Bumblebee swatted his friend’s thick side. “What?” Bulkhead straightened, indignant. “You said he was eating for two!”

”Somehow, I don’t think that’s quite medically possible Bulkhead.” Ratchet said, his rough voice gentle despite the uncomfortable expression on his face. Bulkhead shrugged in response.

Optimus cleared his throat. ”Moving on...”

”We’ve only been seeing him at night.” Bulkhead offered contemplatively. “After the sun has gone down.”

”But never after Midnight.” Ratchet added. Everyone looked at him. “What? I know how to run a Security System if I need to.”

Bumblebee coughed. It sounded suspiciously like ‘Stalker’.

”Okay, so voracious appetite, anti-social and only seen at night.” Optimus pushed on, ignoring his smallest crewmember’s snark. “What does that give us?”

”A Vampire.” Bumblebee said firmly.

Silence followed.

”What?” Bumblebee glared up at the rest of the Autobots. “It fits!”

”So has anyone seen Jazz around?” Ratchet asked, turning towards Optimus, clearly dismissing the idea as ludicrous. “He and Prowl are fairly close, he may have some sort of idea.”

”Thought of that already.” Bulkhead shook his head. “I saw him in passing a few days ago. He looked kinda grey.”

”He hasn’t been eating at all.” Ratchet rubbed his chin again, running through his memory banks. “Not since he joined back up with us.”

”One eating enough for two, one not eating.” Optimus frowned. “Curious and curiouser.”

”What is?” Prowl’s voice made them all jump, falling into defensive positions. Prowl stepped forward, appearing to melt out of the shadows, the darkness clinging to him like a loving black cloak.

The four Autobots stared back at him, their expressions foolish and awkward. Optimus recovered first, straightening up and clearing his throat. “Prowl. We were just wondering how you were doing.”

”Fine.” Prowl said concisely, eyeing them suspiciously, as if he suspected them of plotting behind his back.

”Ah.” Optimus nodded, his expression slightly guilty. “That’s good.”

Bumblebee turned his head to the side, then started creeping forward.

”Have you seen Jazz lately?” Ratchet asked, crossing his arms across his wide chest.

Prowl was silent for a moment, then nodded once. “Yes.” He said blandly. “Just last night in fact.” He looked like he would have added to it, if he hadn’t been distracted by Bumblebee stepping inside of his personal space, blue optics narrow in a squint. “… Can I help you?”

”Just checkin’ to see if you have fangs.” Bumblebee said seriously.

Awkward silence fell.

Prowl drew himself up to his full height. “If you’ll excuse me, the moon will be rising shortly.” He said snippily, then stepped backwards, the shadows eagerly swallowing him up.

”Prowl.” Optimus called, briefly stopping the retreating figure. “Are you sure everything is alright?”

The barely visible ninjabot hesitated, then nodded. “I am not the one you need to worry about.” He said, then vanished into the darkness of the night, as illusive as a wisp of smoke.

Bulkhead let out a loud breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding. “Wow.”

”If he’s not the one we need to worry about.” Ratchet said heavily, rubbing his chin again. “Then who is?”

”Fan out.” Optimus ordered. “See if you can follow him. Stealthily.”

”You want –us- to follow a –ninjabot-?!” Bumblebee said incredulously, even as he shifted to his car mode.

”If we can.” Optimus agreed, his own tone dry with muted scepticism at his words as he transformed as well. “Don’t try to confront him, just try to see what you can find out. Autobots! Roll out!”

Three powerful and one not-quite-so powerful vehicles roared out into the streetlight strewn streets, searching for their comrade.

---

Several hours later, they were back at their headquarters, exhausted and with no sign of either of their friends found. “Anything to report?” Optimus asked as he rubbed at his optics.

”Nothing.” Ratchet grumped. Bumblebee and Bulkhead nodded from where they were leaning against each other, optics at half mast.

”The moon’s almost full. Couple of days from now.” Bulkhead offered helpfully. “Prowl said something about the moon, didn’t he?”

”Yeah, and it brings all the loonies out.” Bumblebee grumbled. “Couple of crazy cars tried to drive me off the road. ME! …Why do they always go after me?!”

”Cause you’re tiny.” Bulkhead said with absentminded sympathy. Bumblebee glared imaginary daggers at his humongous friend.

”Hm.” Ratchet made a thoughtful sound. Optimus turned his attention to the medic. He knew that sound. “Captain Fanzone made a similar comment the other day.” Ratchet extrapolated. “Reports of cars trying to drive other cars off the road. Not just run off the road, actually. More like trying to eat them. Wanted to know if it was our friends.” Because they all knew what a big fan Captain Fanzone was of machines.

”Cars eating cars?” Bumblebee scoffed. “Yeah, right.” He pretended not to notice the waver at the end of the last word.

”But there are stories like that.” Bulkhead pointed out, trying to appear as small as he could. “…Vampires.”

”Oh, for Primus’ sake!” Ratchet threw his hands in the air. “There is no such thing as Vampires!”

”That’s what you say.” Bumblebee said with much false bravado.

”There are no such thing as creatures that suck the energon from another Cybertronian’s systems!” Ratchet spat. “It’s a myth! A story they tell Sparklings when they’re up past their recharging time!”

”There’s no proof that they don’t exist!” Bumblebee shot back.

”There’s no proof that they do either!”

”ENOUGH!” Optimus snapped, his processor starting to ache. He waited until everyone had fallen silent, Bulkhead and Bumblebee looking like guilty Sparklings having gotten caught squabbling. “It is late.” He said, keeping the words simple and his tone as even as he could. “Let us get some rest and we’ll look at this with fresh eyes in the morning.”

”Yes, Bossbot.” Bumblebee and Bulkhead mumbling chorused, shuffling their feet as they wandered back towards their rooms. Ratchet gave Optimus a thoughtful look before inclining his head in a small bow before heading to his own quarters as well.

Optimus sighed, rubbing his head. And to think when he was younger, there had been nothing more he’d wanted than his own ship and crew….

---

The bright early hours found Optimus wandering down the halls to Ratchet’s medical bay. Ratchet looked up at him, weary blue optics that clearly hadn’t seen any down time since they had last seen each other. “Prowl’s back.” Ratchet said softly, as if not to wake anyone. “I shifted the security system slightly. Seems he’s taken to recharging on the higher bows of his tree.”

Optimus looked over Ratchet’s shoulder at the vidscreen. Prowl was curled up close to the centre of the tree, barely visible from their camera view except for small patches of dappled burnished gold. He’d chosen an obviously strategic position, while he’d be in the dark shadows for the duration of the day, the surrounding area would be clearly visible in bright daylight.

Optimus sighed, a habit he’d picked up from being around humans, but was strangely satisfying. “What do you think Ratchet?” He asked, looking to the elder for advice. “Do you think we’re over reacting?”

Ratchet hummed tunelessly for a moment, processing. “I think if nothing was wrong, Prowl would be meditating on the ground.” He finally said, tapping the screen showing Prowls room, and the empty meditation space. “Where he usually does.”

Optimus let out a breath he’d been holding, nodding as he felt the weight of responsibility settle around his shoulders once more. These were his bots, his responsibility. It was his job to make things right again. It was a burden he shouldered willingly, but that did not make it any lighter.

”He’s also got defensive wounds.” Ratchet straightening up as he crossed his arms, face falling into a concerned grimace. “Mostly on the arms and legs, nothing he can’t buff out himself. There’s some on his chest that I wouldn’t mind a closer look at though.” A chance that they both knew was unlikely for the medic to get.

”What do you think, Prime?” Ratchet asked, turning his gaze to his young leader. “You’re a history buff. You ever hear anything like this?”

Optimus shook his head. “My area of interest the Golden Era of Cybertron, not folklore. If it is some sort of… ‘Vampire’, it is something I am not familiar with.”

Ratchet grunted, looking dour as he muttered under his breath about supernatural nonsense, making Optimus smile. He patted the medic on the shoulder. “Get some sleep, old friend.” He said, not quite making it an order. “I’ll keep an eye on things for a while.”

”I could use some shut eye.” Ratchet grudgingly agreed. “I’ll see you in a couple of groons.” He announced with a wave, wandering off to his own quarters.

Optimus looked up at the screens again, debating if perhaps it wasn’t time to contact Captain Fanzone for more information.

---

”Could someone please explain why my doorway is decorated as such?” Prowl asked, looking at the strands of pale bulbs draped over his doorway, hanging over the sides. “Is this some Earth holiday I am unaware of?”

”Hah!” Bumblebee said triumphantly as he jumped out of a nearby doorway. “Find the scent of garlic repulsive, do ya?!”

Prowl gave the small yellow mech a bland expression. “Merely puzzling.”

”Oh.” Bumblebee slumped for a moment, then pulled out a wood cross, held together with a bent nail and some duct tape, holding it in front of him as he advanced on Prowl. “Try this!”

”Um.” Prowl plucked it from Bumblebee’s fingers and inspected it for a moment. “What am I supposed to do with it?”

”Cower in fear.” Bulkhead suggested helpfully. “Or burst into flames.” He shuffled his feet nervously as Prowl gave him a distinctly unimpressed look. . “… Do you feel warm?” He said hopefully.

”No.”

”That’s okay, I came prepared for such an eventuality. All night monster movie marathons are good for something!” Bumblebee said, grabbing the cross back before digging into a bag he was holding at his side. He pulled out a piece of paper with a Star of David on it. “Hah!”

Prowl remained unimpressed.

Bumblebee tossed the paper over his shoulder and pulled out a piece of paper with pentacle drawn on it. There was a smudge in the middle that may or may not have been a flaming eyeball. “Hah!”

Prowl raised an eyebrow.

The paper was thrown behind Bumblebee as he dug around in the bag again. A long pointed wood stake fell out, which Bulkhead quickly grabbed, hiding behind his large back. Bumblebee pulled out a long necklace of wood beads with a triumphant grin, throwing it over Prowl’s neck, mumbling under his breath.

”Uhh…” Prowl touched the necklace. “Thank you?”

”No good.” Bumblebee muttered. He pulled out salt shaker from the bag, pulling off the top and tossing the contents of the glass bottle at Prowl, liberally sprinkling him with salt. “Evil be gone!”

Prowl sneezed, his intakes whirring as they cleared themselves of the annoying powder. “What?”

”That’s the only one working.” Bulkhead whispered, leaning down to nudge Bumblebee. ”Try the Cybertronian ones.”

”Right.” Bumblebee nodded, digging in his bag again. He pulled out a plastic cube, looking like it had been stolen from a child’s toy set. “Before time began-” He intoned, shoving the object in Prowl’s face. “There was the CUBE!”

”Um.” Prowl’s other eyebrow went up, his forehead wrinkling slightly as he leaned away from the crazy yellow Autobot. He glanced uncertainly between Bumblebee and Bulkhead, as if gauging their mental stability.

”Not working.” Bulkhead sing-sang nervously. Bumblebee nodded, tossing the cube back in his bag and pulling out a piece of paper with a crudely drawn circle inside of a lopsided square with squiggly lines coming off the sides.

”Are you afraid?!” Bumblebee demanded.

Prowl plucked the paper from Bumblebee’s fingers, turning it sideways. “What is it?”

”The AllSpark!” Bumblebee said as if it should be obvious. “… I couldn’t remember what Primus’ symbol was.” He admitted with a shrug.

Prowl looked like he really, really wanted to hit his head against a hard surface. Repeatedly. Or he’d bitten into the Cybertronian equivalent of a lemon. “I’m going to go find Ratchet.” He announced, his tone implying he was not the one who required help as he quickly wandering off before Bumblebee could pull anything else out of his little bag of horrors.

”Maybe he’s not a Vampire.” Bulkhead mused, a thoughtful finger on his chin. “He didn’t really react to any of those.”

”Bah.” Bumblebee waved it off. “He totally is. We just need to find the right one. I told you we should have totally gotten that Holy Water.”

---

”Spread out.” Optimus ordered quietly as Prowl slipped away into the night, the silvery light of the waxing moon illuminating the city. “You have your orders.”

Bumblebee and Bulkhead’s shenanigans had been useful to delay Prowl, the ninjabot requiring to stop and wash to remove all the salt from his systems to avoid the potential hazard of rust, allowing Optimus more time to plan. They’d divided the city into quadrants, running a search pattern for both Prowl and the mysterious grey cars.

His crew nodded and transformed. “Roll out.” Optimus said softly, the four of them driving out into the night.

Both of their quarries were as illusive as ghosts that night, they returning home at daylight to find a tired Prowl already sleeping high up in his tree.

New plans were made.

---

”Ready?” Optimus asked, looking glancing over at Ratchet. Bumblebee and Bulkhead hovered, their expressions serious.

”Tracking him now.” Ratchet said, his attention on the readout his forearm. “Slipped it in with the energon I gave him before he left. Think he might have been a tad suspicious at how easily I gave him an extra ration.”

Optimus nodded. They’d debated just slipping a tracker on Prowl earlier, then dismissed the idea. It was unlikely that Prowl would not notice any tracker they physically put on him. ”We’ll follow you then.”

Ratchet nodded, transforming. “Autobots!” Optimus raised his voice. “Roll out!”

They transformed, driving out at a cautious speed, none of the reckless speed that they had done the previous night. They moved in single fire, Ratchet in the lead, maintaining radio silence as the miles disappeared under their tires.

”He’s changing direction.” Ratchet’s voice was loud to their tense audios. “Coming back this way, fast.”

”Do you think he-“ Optimus’ question was cut off as Ratchet let out a shout, swerving to the side. Optimus did the same, Bumblebee and Bulkhead scrambling to get out of the way of a fast moving grey vehicle.

”Slagger!” Bumblebee cursed. “Not again!”

”Tried to run you over the other night?” Bulkhead said sympathetically as he transformed back to his bipedal mode.

”Him and one other.” Bumblebee agreed bitterly, transforming and rubbing his head inbetween his stubby horns.

”Wait a minute.” Ratchet growled as he transformed, gaining a better perspective as the grey vehicle pulled a fast u-turn, speeding towards them again. “Isn’t that-“

”-Jazz?!” Optimus gasped, optics widening. The Elite Guard didn’t appear to hear him as Jazz charged right at him with the obvious intention of running the Prime over. Optimus had barely enough circuits to think about moving when a black and gold shadow appeared in front of him, holding a pair of tonfa in his hands instead of his usual throwing blades.

”Back off!” Prowl snapped out as Jazz transformed, meeting his fellow ninjabot with a loud clash, the side-batons in his hands between his arms and Jazz’s grasping hands. Jazz made an almost animalistic noise of rage as he attempted to grapple Prowl, the tonfa preventing him from doing so each time.

”Prowl?” Ratchet said, his rough voice thick with confusion and concern. “Jazz? What in the name of the Matrix is going on here?”

Prowl pushed Jazz back, the Elite Guard member letting out a primitive hiss before attempting to lunge past Prowl towards Optimus. “No!” Prowl shouted, swinging the tonfa out to catch Jazz in his midsection with enough force to knock out a normal bot. Jazz merely grunted, stumbling sideways, towards Bulkhead. “Do not let him touch you!” Prowl ordered frantically.

”Why not?” Bumblebee asked, voice high with curiosity as he stepped forward. “It’s just Jazz.”

Jazz turned his dark optics towards Bumblebee and the small yellow bot let out a whimper of fear, stumbling backwards, tripping and falling on his aft. Jazz let out a triumphant growl, leaping for the fallen bot. Prowl intersected once again, appearing between Jazz and Bumblebee, tonfa laying flat against his arm. Jazz’s chest hit the tonfa, but instead of bouncing back, he took advantage of his position to grab Prowl’s arm, fingers pressing against the inside of his arm.

Prowl screamed as energy crackled around his arm, Jazz snarling triumphantly. A dark clad foot came up and kicked Jazz away, Jazz sliding across the asphalt, a still triumphant sneer on his unnaturally grey face.

The arm Jazz had just been holding was now a uniform charcoal grey, hanging uselessly at Prowl’s side, the tonfa dangling in his grasp. “That’s why.” Prowl panted, his voice rough.

Optimus pulled out his axe. “Autobots! Back off!” He ordered. “Don’t let him escape, but don’t let him touch you either. Prowl! What is going on here?!”

”Ever hear of a creature called ‘the Dweller’, sir?” Prowl asked, his good arm held across his chest, ready to lash out against his friend, who was slowly getting to his feet. “He’s an energy siphoner.”

”And he got Jazz?” Optimus concluded.

”Not quite.” Prowl grunted, moving to take a protective position next to his leader. “The Dweller drains a Cybertronian’s energy by touching them. The drained then seek out other Cybertronians, whom they drain by touching, and the cycle continues. They then return to the Dweller with the stolen energy.”

”So he’s a Vampire.” Bumblebee interjected briskly, his energy stinger buzzing.

Prowl took a brief second to process this. “Essentially, yes.” He finally agreed.

Ratchet made a thoughtful sound. ”So the reason why you’ve been consuming so much-“

”-Is because this is not the first time he has drained a limb.” Prowl drawled tiredly. “Yes. He has yet to infect me farther however.”

”And you’ve been fighting this by yourself without telling us for how long?” Optimus asked sharply.

”Because if I informed you, we’d have the same situation we are in now, sir.” Prowl motioned to the circle of bots. “Which increases the likelihood of what happened to Jazz happening to one of us.” Which would then cause more problems, trying to control more than one energy vampire. “I’ve been successful thus far in keeping him away from us and Sumdac Industries since they can’t get the energy they crave from normal automobiles.”

”I thought there were two grey cars tryin’ to run people over.” Bulkhead commented as Jazz stared hungrily at the large mech, like a fox eyeing a particularly plump chicken.

”Dead End.” Prowl practically spat.

”The one who turned Jazz into this.” Optimus concluded. Prowl nodded grimly. Optimus grunted, narrowing his eyes at the Elite Guard. “So how do we change him back?”

”Wood stake through the heart?” Bumblebee offered helpfully.

”Preferably non-lethal.” Optimus quickly added with a glare towards his youngest officer.

”From my memory, there are two possibilities.” Prowl said grimly, staring at his snarling friend, who was making test lunges towards Bulkhead. Bumblebee’s stingers zapped in front of him, stopping the motion and keeping Jazz pinned in the middle of their circle. “The first, we kill the one who infected him, breaking the control on him.”

”Which means we have to find this ‘Dead End’ first.” Ratchet concluded. “And the second?”

”Massive energy infusion.” Prowl gave a one shoulder shrug, his other arm still dangling, useless and grey. “It’s been what’s been keeping me from turning. He’s essentially suffering from energy depletion.”

”And now he wants ours.” Bumblebee rolled his optics. “Just peachy.”

”Ideas?” Optimus called out.

”Any sort of energy or ours in particular?” Ratchet mused.

Prowl gave a one shouldered shrug again. “I am uncertain.” He admitted.

”Hmmm….”

”What are our chances of finding this ‘Dead End’ character?” Bumblebee suggested.

Bulkhead glanced back over his shoulder. “Oh, pretty good, I’d say.” He offered, spotting a sleek grey sports car speeding towards them. “Here he comes!”

Jazz took advantage of Bulkhead’s distraction, leaping for him again. “Oh, no you don’t.” Ratchet growled, activating his electromagnets and grabbing Jazz in mid-air. Jazz howled, a mixture of primeval rage and static that ground on their audios.

”Ratchet, hold him.” Optimus ordered, as Jazz writhed in Ratchet’s grasp. The sleek grey sports car transformed as it got closer, turning into a mech with a long narrow head, massive jaws and glowing red eyes. The Decepticon logo glimmered on his chest, clearly declaring his allegiance. Dead End hissed as he approached, claws spread wide to grab and drain their energy. Optimus shifted his grip on his massive battle axe. “Autobots! Attack!”

Bumblebee was the first to lash out, his stingers lighting up the area with their pale gold glow as they hit their target. Energy crackled over Dead End’s grey body, then faded into his body. Dead End laughed, an empty hollow sound. Bumblebee growled, stingers striking out again, but Dead End simply absorbed the energy as he moved towards the annoyed yellow bot.

Dead End didn’t absorb the wrecking ball Bulkhead smashed into his chest however. He went flying backwards, skidding across the street.

”Nice one, Bulkhead.” Optimus praised as he stepped forward. “Bumblebee, fall back. Your stingers are only helping him.”

”Story of my life.” Bumblebee grumbled as he backed up. Dead End followed him with his dead red eyes until Bulkhead stepped inbetween them, blocking his small buddy from the energy vampire’s view.

”Nah-uh.” Bulkhead scolded. “Gotta get through me first, buddy.”

Dead End’s answer may not have made linguistic sense, but it was perfectly obvious to the Autobots that he found Bulkhead’s terms acceptable. He charged towards Bulkhead, only to be blocked by Optimus Prime’s battle axe. The two strained against each other, trying to push the other back. Prowl entered into the battle, his flying disks striking Dead End’s head and back with dull hollow clunks.

”Not using the nightsticks?” Bulkhead inquired as Prowl retreated again, catching his flying disks in his good hand.

”I do not wish to cause Jazz permanent injury.” Prowl said mildly. “The ‘con however…” There was a definitely undercurrent of malice as Prowl glared at the Decepticon. Bulkhead nodded in understanding. Prowl didn’t allow many bots close to him, but those he did he was fiercely loyal to.

”Bulkhead!” Optimus called out for assistance. Bulkhead drew his arm back, wrecking ball flying out and striking Dead End in the head with enough force to drive him back. However, before Bulkhead could retract his wrecking ball hand, Dead End grabbed it, the dark green fading to grey as the energy was drained from it. Bulkhead screamed in pain as he tried to get his hand back.

Optimus and Prowl were there, Prowl turning into a black and gold blur as he struck the servos in Dead End’s arm, causing the Decepticon to drop his grasp on Bulkhead’s arm. Optimus used the long handle of his axe to trip Dead End, toppling the energy vampire onto his back. Bulkhead staggered backwards, then roughly sat down. Bumblebee appeared at his side, trying to help his huge friend.

”Bulkhead!” Bumblebee grabbed the now dull grey cord that connected Bulkhead’s hand to his arm. “You okay buddy?”

”I’ve been better.” Bulkhead admitted, rubbing his still green shoulder as he looked down at Bumblebee and his hand in worry. “My whole arm’s kinda numb. And not in the tingly fun sort of way either.”

”The effects are temporary.” Prowl assured him, briefly dropping back between Dead End and the younger Autobots. “A good meal should take care of it.”

”I could use one.” Bulkhead admitted, rising back to his feet. Dead End rolled past Optimus, whose battle axe sunk into the asphalt, scoring a deep gouge in it. The Decepticon flipped to his feet, charging for Bulkhead and Bumblebee.

”Aw, man!” Bumblebee dashed away, the Decepticon angling his charge towards the small yellow bot. “Why do they always go after me?!” He yelped as he stumbled on a manhole cover and fell. Prowl blurred past Dead End, the energy vampire tripping and falling as his leg went unresponsive.

”Cause you’re small and cute.” Bulkhead offered as he picked up his numb wrecking ball arm. “You okay, ‘Bee?”

”M’fine.” Bumblebee grumped as he waved it off, picking himself up. Prowl appeared in front of him, large throwing disk gripped in his good hand defensively.

Optimus stepped up in front of the fallen Decepticon, battle axe in hand. “I’m giving you a chance.” He said gravely. “To surrender and give yourself up. Help us change our friend back. You don’t have to live under Megatron’s rule if you don’t wish to.”

Dead End looked up at him with his dull red eyes and laughed. It was a hissing noise of scorn and mockery. There was no mercy to be had in the Decepticon’s eyes, for himself or anyone else.

Optimus’ expression was sorrowful and resigned as Dead End made one final attack, trying to take out the Autobot’s leader. Optimus’ axe flashed upwards, then down, the Decepticon’s laughter coming to an abrupt end as his head flying out into the street, cleanly separated from his shoulders.

Bumblebee was the first to break the silence. “Okay.” He said, voice wavering slightly in nervousness as Dead End’s body shifted from a monochrome grey to a faded black and white that heralded a Cybertronian’s spark dissipating. “That was creepy.”

”Should we put a stake through his spark chamber?” Bulkhead asked, apprehensively edging closer to his team mates. “Y’know… Just in case?”

”I don’t believe that will be necessary.” Ratchet’s calm voice interjected. They all looked up to see Jazz hanging limply in the glow of Ratchet’s electromagnets, still a uniform grey. They waited a minute, to see if he was going to do anything, but he appeared to have been knocked offline. “Probably still suffering from energy depletion.” Ratchet grumped. “Should get him back to base while he’s out, to run some scans on him.”

”WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” A high pitched scream of indignant girlishness cut through the serious atmosphere. “YOU BAD BOYS! NO FIGHTING!”

It was the pretentious Professor Princess plus her flying pretty pink pony of Doom. She glared at them from her lofty height at them.

”Oh, for Primus’ sake!” Bumblebee groaned. “Gimme a break!”

”No!” Professor Princess waved her magic wand at him, a beam of rainbow coloured energy heading towards him. Bumblebee yelped, jumping backwards and hitting Ratchet. Ratchet let out a yell of his own as bumped into a power pole. There was the shortest of pauses, then the powerline cracked, falling down, plunging the area into darkness. Ratchet shouted as he dis-engaged his electromagnets, Jazz falling to the ground with a loud clang, making them all jump.

They jumped again as the sparking powercords landed on both Jazz and the Decepticon’s severed head. Dead End’s head resumed its eerie laughter, filling the air with undead malice.

Professor Princesses screamed at the sound, her wand lighting up enough to see by. She shrieked again when she saw the laughing head with its glowing red eyes. She waved her wand with frantic emotion, a beam of pink light lashing out and turning the head into an innocent looking teddy bear.

A teddy bear that continued to laugh manically. Professor Princess looked at it in shock and amazement for a moment, before her face scrunched up and she began to wail. Pretty playful toys were not supposed to sound like that. Powdered Sugar, her flying unicorn, let out a whinny of annoyance and zapped the teddy bear with a beam from its horn, turning the bear pink.

The laughter continued unabated. With a wail of her own, Professor Princess ran away from the diabolical teddy bear with all the fury of a scared little girl.

Other than the sound of electricity crackling, silence reigned.

”Well, um. Okay.” Bulkhead straightening up from a battle ready posture, scratching his head with the sound of metal on metal. “That was weird.” Which pretty much wrapped up the sentiment for the night.

Prowl tossed large stick lying around at the power cables, knocking them away from Jazz as Optimus turned his lights on so they could see. Bumblebee and Bulkhead did the same as Ratchet walked over and knelt down to scan the fallen ninjabot. They waited a few tense seconds, watching the smoke trail off of Jazz’s now coloured body.

“The good news is that we don’t have to worry bout recharging him.” Ratchet finally announced, looking up to meet their relieved optics. “The bad news is that he’s still offline.”

”Oh good.” Bumblebee not quite whinged. ”Can we go home now?”

”Yes.” Optimus let out a large breath, looking at the fallen power line and Dead End’s body. He’d have to call Captian Fanzone and let him know that his rouge car problem was over. But for now, it was time to head back to base and lick their wounds. “Yes, we can.”

---

”Hey.” Jazz knocked on Prowl’s door, waiting a few nano-seconds before opening it. The room was as he’d always seen it, dancing dappled light from the sunlight above. There was always a sense of peace that prevailed the place. “Prowler? You in?”

”Up here.” Came the quiet voice. Jazz smiled to himself, jumping into the tree and quickly scaling it with as much stealth as possible. Stealth wasn’t needed, but sometimes it was just fun to show off.

He found Prowl stretched out on a large branch just above the torn rooftop, like a large smug cat basking in the sunlight. “Hi.” Prowl said, lifting his head up to look at Jazz. “Ratchet let you out?”

”Yup.” Jazz grinned back, finding a comfortable looking branch and leaning against the tree trunk. He closed his optics for a second, enjoying the feel of the warm breeze as it whispered past him. Earth was one seriously of the coolest, if whacked-out planets around. “He’s gunning for you next.”

”My injuries are not serious.” Prowl dismissed it.

Jazz raised an eye brow. “You –lookin’- for trouble?”

”I am not.” Prowl held an arm up for examination. “They are mostly superficial. I do not require Ratchet’s services.”

”Wait a nano-click.” Jazz caught Prowl’s wrist. “I know those marks.”

”Ah.” Prowl made an embarrassed noise. “Yes.”

”Those were made by my energy chucks, weren’t they?” Jazz frowned. He didn’t have any memories from when he was running around as a ‘Vampire’, as Bumblebee put it. He knew from the other bots that Prowl had gone after him alone to stop him from hurting any of the others. “Aw, man… I’m so-“

”It is my own fault.” Prowl pulled his arm back and Jazz reluctantly let him go. “Not yours.” He said with a self-conscious air. “… Your weapons did not take well to someone else attempting to use them.”

Jazz stared at him with his jaw open for a moment.

”I got your weapons away from you the first night and attempted to use them against you.” Prowl reached into a sub-space pocket at his hip and pulled out Jazz’ blue energy chucks. “I had hoped to render you offline, since using ‘The Five Servos of Doom’ was not an option.”

There were problems knowing 32,767 ways of dismantling a robot, but only a handful on taking them down without hurting the other bot. Especially when the other bot was also well versed in Circuit-Su and Metallikato and knew the counter moves.

”Oh.” He took his weapons back from Prowl, putting them back in his leg sheathes. It felt like some form of balance had been restored to him with them back on him. “Thank you.”

”You would do the same.” Prowl waved it off, dropping his head back down, looking back through the branches. Someone shouted in the background, the sound of a small explosion and running feet echoing past. Jazz said nothing, knowing the words were true.

They lapsed into comfortable silence, enjoying the peaceful day together, for as long as it lasted.

”So… Basically you’re avoiding Ratchet because you’re embarrassed about how y’got injuried.”

”Shut up, Jazz.”

-fin-

---

The best part? The Energy Vampires, Dweller, and Vampire Dead End are all CANON!!!! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

-Cut Scene-
Their luck being what it was, the trip back to their base was interrupted by the pretentious Professor Princess plus her pretty pink pony of Doom. They hadn’t actually meant to interrupt Professor Princess’ perfectly polished plans, it just sort of… happened.