Current mood:	silly
Current music:	They speak Japanese, they do what they please
Entry tags:	magic kaito

[Magic Kaito] Kaito vs the Ninjas
Title: Kaito vs the Ninjas
Author: Icka! M. Chif
Word Count: 1,042
Rating: General
Author Notes: Did you know that the Barenaked Ladies have a new album out? It's called 'Snacktime'. The whole thing is comedy and crack. Especially the song The Ninjas. Not that we've had it on repeat for a week, oh no.... maybe now it'll get outta my head? *hopeful*
Summary: The ninjas are stalking Kaito.

---

When Kaito woke up, he knew that something was wrong. It was like an annoying buzz in the back of his head, the awareness that someone, possibly someones, had been in his room while he’d been sleeping like the dead after an exhausting heist.

He slowly crept out of bed, examining the room. Nothing obvious, no footprints, no trail of cookie crumbs, just a few slight things out of place that shouldn’t have been. Not more than a half-centimetre, but enough to set off his mental alarms.

Kaito scowled as he realised what, or who, had been in his room.

”Ninjas.”

+++

His day did not improve much after that. Everywhere he went, lurking in the edges vision, not quite entirely there, fading in and out like slippery shadows, there they were.

Aoko noticed his jumpiness and was concerned. Until she heard the explanation.

”Ninjas?” She echoed, her voice high in disbelief.

”Ninjas.” He agreed.

Aoko stared at him for a long moment. “You are soooooooo weird sometimes.” She finally said.

+++

Hakuba noticed as well. But then, that was the annoying thing about the blond detective, he always noticed when something was off with Kaito. No matter how many times Kaito protested he wasn’t the Kaitou Kid, Hakuba kept Kaito under constant supervision. It was annoying.

”Ninjas.” Aoko explained from her seat next to Kaito when Hakuba walked over, mouth open to comment on Kaito’s jumpiness.

The detective shut his mouth, staring at Kaito for a moment. “You know, I was once stalked by Pirates for an entire week.” He said solemnly, almost sympathetically. “I constantly had to insist that the rancid smell of stale rum was not emanating from my person.”

”Really?” Kaito brightened. Finally! Someone who understood!

Then he remembered who he was talking to. “You’re lying, aren’t you?”

”Every word.” The bastard agreed, turning on his heel and walking away.

+++

Everyone knew what ninjas were. They were deadly, silent, unspeakably violent and did what ever the hell they wanted. It was just that no one believed ‘what ever they wanted’ included stalking Kaito and making his life a jumpy nightmare. Such as throwing random shuriken, knives, and various other pointy objects at him when they thought he wasn’t looking.

Like now. Kaito ducked, just missing a star-shaped shuriken. “Hah!” He said triumphantly.

His triumph was short lived when he realised that while the shuriken had not hit him as a target, it had still hit -a- target. A random pedestrian was staring at sky, a shuriken sticking out of the middle of his forehead. They fell down with a meaty thud.

”See?!” Kaito turned towards Aoko as he pointed towards the fallen person.

”What?” She sniffed, long since tired of the ‘ninja’ game.

Kaito glanced back. The body was gone. “… frag it.” He muttered darkly.

A ninja swung by, obviously gloating as Aoko managed, yet again, to miss their shadowy appearance. Kaito leapt at it, managing to grab a handful of cloth and tearing away the mask.

The ninja smiled at him, a gruesome set of crooked yellow teeth flashing back at him. Kaito recoiled as the ninja disappeared. Well, that explained the mask at least. “Invest in some braces!” He shouted after the ninja. Geh.

+++

An arm draped over Kaito’s shoulder, followed by a cascade of blood-red hair. Kaito stiffened, just slightly. “I know why they’re after you.” Koizumi’s voice purred in his ear. “The ninjas.”

Part of him wondered if it was a trick, like Hakuba and the Pirates a few days prior. Another part of him mused that if anyone was going to know about ninjas and their motives, it was going to be Koizumi. He debated the matter for a moment, wondering just how big of a fool he wanted to make himself look like before asking uninterestedly, “Really?”

”They’re after the jewel the Kid stole during his last heist.” Koizumi nodded, her hair brushing against the side of his face like silky strands of a cobweb. “They’re supposed to be it’s guardians. They’d like it back.”

And therefore, they were trying to find where he, correction, the Kaitou Kid had hidden it. Made sense. “Okay.” He nodded. “Thank you.”

”You’re welcome.” She smirked, rising and flipping her hair away from his face and back over a shoulder. “It’s costing their employer a killing in overtime.”

Kaito decided as she walked away that he really didn’t want to inquire, much less think, too heavily into that statement

+++

He perched on the edge of his rooftop, watching the moon rise and purposely ignoring the silence that echoed around him with slightly-hostile anticipation.

”I don’t have it, you know.” Kaito said idly to the air, not caring if anyone thought he was talking to himself. People already thought he was crazy over this ninja thing anyway.

The slightly-hostile silence turned into confused silence.

”It never left the compound.”

The confused silence became surprised silence.

”After this, I’d suggest a nice long vacation.” Kaito continued conversationally. “Somewhere in Europe, maybe.”

Surprised silence became irritated silence.

”Did anyone check under the rooftop eaves, north side of the building, by the east corner?”

Irritated silence became running silence.

Kaito smiled as amount of silence decreased, then vanished as silence communicated with itself. It was kind of amazing how many different flavours ‘silence’ could come in.

Amusing too.

+++

”What’s that?” Aoko asked as Kaito looked over a small printed piece of paper.

”Postcard.” Kaito handed it over. The front showed a photograph of an idyllic scene of rolling green hills, and simply Kaito’s address on the front.

”From Ireland.” Aoko whistled. “Who do you know who is in Ireland?”

”The ninjas.” Kaito tapped the ‘message’ portion of the postcard, which had been left notably blank. “They’re vacationing there right now. Having a pretty good time too. There’s one on the front, if you can spot him.” Apparently his suggestion of Europe had been a good one. Ninjas playing games, who would have thought it?

”Riiight.” Aoko handed back the postcard with an unamused look.

Kaito shrugged as he took the postcard back. Wasn’t his fault no one believed him about these things.

He went back to trying to spot the ninja in the picture.

Oh, there it was!

-fin-